I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
