He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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