Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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