don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
