coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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