I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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