his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
