I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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