This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Someone came in the potted fern
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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