I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
