i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My vagina just clenched in fear
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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