Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
