I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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