Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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