I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
