$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
