he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
