That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
