It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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