Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
