Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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