SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
