I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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