So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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