Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
