I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
