youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I would ride that face into the sunset
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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