I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
