my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
As shirtless as possible
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
