you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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