Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
