I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
