I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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