woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
