Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
