Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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