you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
