Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
