If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
