He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
