im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
