dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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