pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
