I intend to get homeless drunk
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
