glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
