remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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