i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
