Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize