Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
