He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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