just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize