i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
