Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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