After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
