I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
