Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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