I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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