i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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