I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
