and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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