You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
