Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
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