thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize