Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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