your thong is hanging out like whoa
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I am available for nakedness
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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