Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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