yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
