Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My vagina just clenched in fear
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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