I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
