We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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