And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
