i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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