Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Randomize
