Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
