I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
